#im so fucking. im stupid. im so fucking stupid and its all my fauly and i just.

[labetalol]

no way home... 🥺

[squinko-moved]

hoping and praying that my family stays out of my room for like 45 minutes so i can cry in peace

[joculatrixster]

not to be that guy but the whole “light skin poc exist” is a tactic often used to demean black ppl who want to be seen as apart of cultures which demean them...like colorism is a whole thing and you’re perpetuating it bro

omg i made a whole reply to this then backspaced like an idot so ill just say this, being dark skinned isnt an insult and i dont think light skinned ppls issues over shadow dark skinend issues to preface, ik u didnt say that anon but my post could have and has bee interpreted that way. my post was a vent, a poorly worded vent i made while crying and shaking iver one stupid post and honestly i regret makign the post thwn replying to ppl so much it jsut made me not think straight and those dms made it alot worst. but to answer the actual ask i do understand that, thats not hat my psot was saying but holy fuck i missed the mark with my post, i wrongly assumed ppl would understand it when i couldn't tupe straight and was wayyy to in my feleings, thats completely my fauly and i get why ppl thought i was being colorist or racist because i wasnt makign my points clear and r wanst till those dms i relized the main issue. im uncomfortable when characters r changed, like in general if a characters skintone, gender, heritage, all that good stuff is changed or tesited i get uncomfortable, its worst for comfort characters or kins and definitely affects me more with mixed, light skinned characters, women, or bi characters because well those r my identities. that being said my post could have been read as "thats equal to whitewashig, its equally as offensive to be made darker" wich holy shit is not what i was trying to say and im so sorry to my followers and mutuals who read it that way, i know white washing is horrendous and im aware of the racist history it has, i was not thinkign clearly and chose an example i could think of wich i diffintly was an asshole for equavalitign them because they r far from equal, i don't want white ppl to see me as a poc and decide i gave them a pass to do whitewashing because "shes black and she said they were also bad too!" uh uh thats not it. i was trying to make the point "seeing characters thaat repent me being treated like they r not good representation because thwy look like me amkes me uncomfortable because it reminds me of how many ppl dont see light skinned ppl as ppl with struggles too or as good enough representation, can we all jsut agree there needs to be more dark skinned characters and not change established ones in fanart?" but i came off as "racebeding is all bad, u dakr skinned artist r offending me because u think u have issues well we all have issues so there!" right anon? thats ok if u read it like that, well not rlly ok but i see how i fucked up. and well yeah i jsut wanted to be out and open about this because its rlly stupid that i didnt take a moment to save psot as drafe and come back later, i let a stupid dm conversation make my mood worst when i should have just blocked the op wayyy back when they kept ignoring what i was saying and tried everything to make me seem worst, i rlly like rllllllly should have dmed my other black friedns about it so they could have helped me calm down instead of venting on discord because ily guys but u kinda made me feel justified more when i made a badly worded post with comparing it to white washing. ig this is jsut an ask im using to own up to my post? ur ask is barelt about this but the other ask i got also gave me a slap in the face because the person was obviously white and used the word "woke" which is antisjw talk meaning "minority who wants to be acknowledged" and like fuckign HELL i wanted my post to be used to devalue other black and poc voices i rlly wasnt trying to do that i was trying to point out a thin that i think is a bit of an issue and wanted to see if other light skinned poc could relate to my specific struggle, i instead gave ppl a post that made them feel like i dont think dark skinned ppl deserve representation wich wasnt what i ment at all and im jsut rlly sorry to anyone who read my post thinking i ment that. also in case anyone wants to say im not taking responsibility for calling it a vent i genuinely wasnt in the right mental state and i get way too defensive when upset, ive done something similar on my side blog and im working on the issue but currently the best thing for me to do is take a break so ive deleted the app for now and will come back after a few days when i stop begin as emotionally affected, see yall later.